Clovis the Invincible – Untouchable Greatness

Clovis has, since our last engagement, delved deep into goblin caves where he has repeatedly engaged the enemy in foolish and foolhardy situations, and come out on top. Hence, I may need to change his moniker again from The Gremlin to the Invincible, but its worth it given the situations he’s been in. 

When we left of Clovis and his friends, they were prepared to delve into the goblin caves in order to rid the road of these irritating rascals. 

The dank, dismal cave was under a day away, so our motley group trekked out there without much ado for the first while. I was scouting ahead, hiding in the underbrush and the trees much the same way I learned to hide sneaking through the streets, and then walking quietly so as not to disturb the meditations of the monks, when I spotted, nay smelled, the corpse of a horse. I snuck forward to explore the source more clearly, and noticed that the corpse was laid out like a rather poor trap in the center of a clearing. I even noticed the subtly disturbed bushes and trees off to the opposite end of the clearing, likely where the perpetrators had either entered or exited the clearing. 

Returning to the group, I quickly informed them of the situation, and led them back to the trap. Unfortunately for me, not everyone is as stealthy or deft as I am, and they ended up triggering the ambush exactly as predicted.Well, not perfectly. Instead of coming out from the woods where I clearly saw the marks of ingress and egress, they came from over a rise and into the clearing beyond where I was able to scout. Great. Combat quickly ensued, and we were beset from the front by a number of goblins. At least we knew this was the correct location. I slowly crept up, even during the combat, hoping to surprise the warriors engaging my friends. That was when, finally, the goblins burst out from where I had spied their movements! Quickly, I sprung into action, slipping out of the woods behind them, where I had still been hidden. There were three of them, backs all to me, engrossed with my compatriots demise. 

I took the first one between the shoulder blades, my tiny fist breaking his spine and sending parts of him flying in every direction from the sheer power of the attack. I stepped forward to engage the second one, and he too died, though in a flurry of blows, as I stepped forward again. This third one attempted to flee, but I was faster, chased him down and slew him in the woods as he ran. Returning to the fight, my friends had wrapped up the combat and, having crested the ridge the goblins came over, we could clearly see the cave they inhabited. 

That first encounter was simply a microcosm of what happened over and over again through the course of the cave. The first time we entered the cave, I scout ahead, see bad guys, come report back and our fearless and affable face, Garret the oblivious halfling, ends up alerting the enemy to our presences, and all hell breaks loose. Each time, Clovis engages the biggest, strongest most leader like of the bunch, aiming to take them down as fast as possible. Big armor, big weapons, powerful spells, none of it matters to Clovis. He is an assassin, its his job. However, over the course of a number of fights, one in the entrance to the cave, one again a bit deeper, and again as we cross a rickety bridge, Clovis takes so little damage that he sees himself as being blessed by his god, chosen and nearly invincible. 

Unfortunately for him, crossing the rickety, worthless bridge mentioned earlier was simple for him, but it gave way under the very first of his compatriots to cross the bridge, Urath, who then plummeted 40′  to the bottom of the ravine, suffered sever damage and was knocked unconscious. At the same time, a crossbowman hiding in the dark started pelting the rest of my allies with bolts, quickly knocking one out. taking stock of things, I quickly leaped over the edge of the cavern with plenty of rope and attempted to save our companion while the rest of the conscious party fought a ranged battle with a Goblin, in the dark. It was not a winning proposition. Once My companions had Hauled Urath up the side of the ravine, and I’d climbed up, I ran back across the rickety bridge and closed with the Goblin conducting his barrage. I swiftly punched him twice and then kicked his worthless ass into the ravine, where he died. Returning back across the bridge, Garret and I the two tiny member of the group hauled everyone out without somehow leaving one person behind in the goblin caves, unconscious, to be killed by the goblins. 

Clovis still, cannot, to this day, understand why Urath fell through the bridge. Its sturdy! I went across it five times, at full speed, and never fell through. 

Hiding our campsite, we rest for an evening, and the goblins rest as well. We return to town, hand in the heads we have gathered since then, and  – after a vigorous renegotiation of terms that ends with me shamed for getting in way over my head against a cunning dwarf legalista – return and re-enter the cave, scouting ahead like before, goblin after goblin climbs out of their sleeping dens in the main cave. I scout forward, hiding the entire time, within a breath of the enemy, back almost completely to the bridge, where I return to the group and tell them what I saw. We move in, once again, with me and my fellow stealthy compatriot, Tag, leading the way. Something goes horrifically wrong and we reveal ourselves to soon. Tag and I are not in position. The Goblins rush our friends, and we have to break cover to aid them. Once again I go after the Largest, heaviest bad guy, and once again, I end up fairly uninjured when the dust clears and all the goblins are dead. The Armored, heavy goblin was constantly dodging and shifting 

Making our way deeper into the cavern, it is pitch black. Goblins can see in the dark, as can Urath, Tag and Myself. Garret has decided, in his infinite wisdom, to place light on a coin so that we can see what we are doing. This is fine for him and Mamadune, but as we are trying to sneak and keep ourselves out of sight, I ploitely yet firmly ask him why he insists on having his light out when we are trying to keep ourselves hidden. In pure Garret he responds flippantly “How else am I supposed to see who we are hiding from!”

It takes some time, but we eventually stumble into the warrens, where we are swarmed by almost 30 adolescent goblins wielding crude weapons. Again, I am in the thick of it all and once again, I am unharmed throughout the fight until, near the end, a giant rats come roiling out of their dens. Quickly the drop me, and I lie in an unconscious heap as the rest of the group cleans up. I am still convinced that no humanoid can kill me, but am a little bit warier of rats and beasts. Clearly they are my weakness. 

After further exploration, we end up in the last chamber, a mushroom grove with a few, powerful, goblin guards, toxic spores and a Druidic Shamaness commanding them all. Seeing the clear and obvious leader, I go all in. I charge her, weaving my way between guards blows are exchanged, as the flurry of my hands, knees, elbows and feet are met with Thunderous magic. She flees around a corner and behind her guards. The only way to get her is to pass through a field of toxic spores. The deliberation takes the blink of an eye, and Clovis simply strides through the poison to claim his target. Though the poison clings to his lungs and bites at his eyes, he is able to grit his way through it and emerge on the other side, much to the, ultimately fatal, surprise of the druid. It does not take much more to kill her, and my companions take out the rest of the guards, who are no slouches on their own. The fight is long and hard, and even as we believe we have reached the end, a terrible worm, with tentacles and a horrifying mouth, emerges to consume the fallen. It, too, dies under our onslaught. 

We take heads, take stock, and note the Drow way stone at a tunnel leading deeper into the caverns. We decide to take the better part of valor and ensure that we can get paid for our skulls. 

While, in writing it, it seems like Clovis is taking the most names and killing every enemy worth note, I am writing this, however vaguely, from Clovis’ point of view. I don’t believe I’ve killed anything more than a lackey on my own, and I am more than convinced that Clovis is going to die at the hands of some master villain because he’s convinced he can’t be killed. I have glossed over a slew of other player contributions, which I regret, but this is also the diary of Clovis the Invincible, after all.